The other night, I’m at the table with friends. We order pizza. The mood rises as my mouth waters. “Yum”, I thought incongruously. But, while I fill my stomach with tomato, mozzarella, basil, a friend (who is no longer a friend today) begins to place his crust on the side of his plate. At first I think he’s saving them for last, but then I notice that he has absolutely no intention of eating them. At the end of the meal, therefore, there is a ring of crust on his plate that no one will touch. What a shame. Such a waste. What infamy. I therefore decided to write this forum to banish from the world of pizzas all those who leave the pizza crust without a master.
People who don’t eat the crust have no taste
Clearly, there is a problem there. The crust is a real accompaniment in the dish that is pizza. It can be a crunchy break in the middle of a meal or a soft dessert at the end. Whatever you choose, the crust is always a nice surprise, especially when it contains cheese. The pizza crust is therefore a significant bonus and those who deny this fact have their taste buds burst.
People who don’t eat the crust brush their teeth with dish soap.
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People who don’t eat pizza crust are hypocrites
“I save it for the end, if I’m still hungry.” This is a lie, these people know very well that they will not be hungry when the crust stage comes.
“I leave it for those who want it.“Another lie. At no time are these people altruistic. They only make believe in a certain solidarity but it is not done to me because, at the base, they had planned to throw this crust.
“I do not like it.“It’s literally flour, oil, water and baker’s yeast and it’s the same recipe as the base of your pizza. Put some respect on his name.
The crust deserves to be eaten
Behind a crust, there is a person whose passion is cooking. This person has damaged his hands to make the dough, work it, cuddle it, knead it in order to give it this circular shape which will then give birth to a beautiful crusty baby. And you, from your ivory tower, your buttocks stuck in your IKEA sofa, do you dare to leave it aside? Respect died along with your taste buds. Just for this insult, you should finish your crust.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles eat pizza crust, and are masters of martial arts. Eat your crust.
The crust, symbol of the timid hope that burns in each of us and just waiting to be kindled
One of the most eaten dishes in the world, pizza is often well cooked, sometimes sloppy. In many ways, it represents our relationship to consumption, our relationship to the capitalist system which, for centuries, has made us bow down and tear our dreams apart.
What if, in this capitalist pizza, there was still a glimmer of hope? And if, by its condition of taste bonus, of ephemeral and liberating joy, the crust took on these clothes of hope? And if, in this furnace of evenings with friends, real purgatories of our sins, drowned in our tomatoes, mozzarella, mushrooms, eggs, four cheeses and others, the crust allowed us to rise from our place of simple human and to reach the nirvana of our desires?
Failing to leave my crust in a corner of the plate, I leave this reflection in a corner of your mind.
Feel free to say in the comments if I’m right or if I’m a little carried away.